Wherever This Goes
by toobusybeingawesome
Summary: "I didn't want to fight. I wanted a simple relationship with a man who loved me. Someone who made my life easier, not ten thousand times harder." What if Donna and Harvey give their relationship a chance? How do Jessica and co. react to this change of mind and what happens if someone totally new comes into the picture? Will they be able to make it work? (Starts 4.05)
1. Pilot aka Boom Clap

— Wherever this goes —

„_Wherever this goes_

_No matter how far_

_Baby you are the song that__'__s written on my heart_

_Wherever we stand_

_Wherever we fall_

_It don__'__t matter at all because I will be forever yours_

_From this moment to the day the curtains close_

_Wherever this goes__…"_

_[wherever this goes - the fray]_

_summary_

"Truth be told, I didn't want to fight. I just wanted a simple relationship with a man who loves me. A man that made my life easier, not ten thousand times harder. But sadly that's not possible in Donna-Land." What if Donna and Harvey give their relationship a chance? How do Jessica, Mike, Louis and co. react to this change of mind and what happens if someone totally new comes into the picture and complicates things for the both of them? Will they be able to make it work? Starting 4.05, ignore everything that happens later this season.

— _wherever this goes __—_

— Pilot —

[boom clap]

„_First kiss just like a drug_

_Under your influence_

_You take me over, you__'__re the magic in my veins_

_This must be love_

_Boom clap, sound of my heart_

_The beat goes on and and on and on and on now__"_

_[boom clap - charlie xcx]_

„The only thing I've got going on tonight…is you"

I could have died right here and then. What had happened to us? Since when have we gone from insulting and pranking to flirting and being couple-y? I knew it for a couple weeks that something's about to change, that Harvey was about to change but I never expected it to be for the better, to be honest.

I gladly took the flowers and sat down in Harvey's Lexus. Right next to Harvey who looked at me with the most adorable look I've never ever seen on a man's face, let alone on Harvey's.

„So, the Specter charm is real after all." I breathed out, trying to hide the embarrassment behind my words. Once again: Who are we?

„What do you mean?" Harvey answered nonchalantly, flashing me one of his famous Specter smiles. My second death today.

I decided to ignore his question and looked outside, watching the city's lights drift past us, leaving everything around us in a flashy blur. „What is it, Donna?" He tried again and I was not sure if he was referring to his last question or my odd behaviour. But was it really that odd? Could he just decide, without even the slightest warning, that there was something more between us? We decided to bury our feelings in the ground after what happened 14 years ago in my apartment, determined to never talk about it again in order to not destroy our „work relationship". And now he could simply decide that our work relationship doesn't matter anymore? What the fuck was wrong with this egomaniacal son of a bitch sometimes? And here I was, thinking myself in a rage because Harvey tried to be nice. „Why Harvey?" I blurted out, maybe a bit too forceful for someone who wasn't following my trail of thought as precisely as I did.

„I realized something today." he replied sadly, maybe even depressed as if expecting my question. „I don't have anyone, no one gives a shit about me. Except for you. You're all I've got left now, Donna and I'm constantly letting you down, constantly lying to myself about what I feel for you." I swear my left eyebrow has never been as high as in this precise moment. I'm pretty sure it was already touching my hairline.

„Harvey, I…" I was thunderstruck, to say the least, where the hell did that come from? But I somehow managed to smile. This was what I always wanted. I might have forgotten about it along the way but deep down this was what I always wanted. Since our early days at the DA's office and he knew it. „Don't say anything, Donna. Tonight's your night. Enjoy it, have an amazing time and think about what I just said. I'm waiting for you in your dressing room after you've finished being the next Meryl Streep. Just way prettier." Specter smile number two. Wow, now he really was going overboard with his kindness. And being a human being. And not being the Harvey Specter I know for 14 years now. If I wanted to explain the term out of character to someone, believe me, I'd choose this situation to illustrate.

I didn't have time to answer, as Ray pulled up right in front of the theatre and opening my door. „You look beautiful tonight, Miss Donna." he said, causing me to laugh. „Ray" I answered, „I know that you meant this as a compliment but please, how many times do I have to tell you: I do not like limitations being set on my beauty!" Now it was my time to flash a Paulson smile. He erupted in laughter and gave me a quick hug. I don't know what it was but for the first time in a long time, the theatre was intimidating me. _Since when have you gone so soft, Paulson? _

And that's when I felt his hand on the small of my back, his attempt to reassure me and calm me down. My mind was racing, I could feel the sweat on my forehead, desperately trying to somehow not forget my part 30 minutes before the show starts. Harvey led me through the crowd and I smiled, maybe a bit too goofy given the fact that I should be terrified by now since the show was about to start.

I could feel his hand leaving the small of my back and I didn't have to think twice. _Seize the moment, Paulson. _Without second thoughts, I took his right hand into my left one, his gaze instantly falling on our interlocked hands. His turn to flash a goofy smile. By the time we reached my dressing room, I turned around without ever losing the touch of his hand and simply looked at him, hoping my eyes could convey the gratefulness and affection I had for him right now. And they did. How I know? Harvey simply looked back, showing the pride and love (if I can call it love at this point) he had for me on his part before coming even closer to softly caress my cheek. I leant into his touch, closing my eyes as I sensed his lips on my forehead.

„Go kick their asses!" was all he said before turning about and getting lost in the crowd, leaving me standing there totally dumbstruck and entirely happy with my life.

— _wherever this goes __—_

All I could hear was the hurricane of applause. I did amazing, I knew that but I always loved the sound of applause. Tonight was MY night, I knew it all along, and it definitely was. In more than one way. But tonight was also about to change everything and I don't know if it's solely for good. My lack of knowledge about my situation was killing me, I hated losing control over something so important more than anything. My negative trail of thought came to an end as I saw him standing there oh so perfectly, giving me a standing ovation and looking entirely happy. And proud. I grinned at him, hoping he would realise that it was only for him. That he made my night. That he was the reason for all of this. That's when I felt someone nudging me in the side. It was Meredith, someone who grew on me during this whole theatre thing and probably one of my best friends by now. I would definitely miss her now that the show is over. She gave me a smile that exposed what felt like 80 teeth and tugged me behind the curtains.

„Who the hell is that hot cookie?" she whisper shouted in my ear while jumping up and down, her radiant eyes seemed even bigger than usual. I got the feeling that she might get a bit too involved in my „new relationship". But that's just a guess.

„Well, if he was a cookie, he would definitely be an Oreo." I replied a bit sarcastically, partly because I was really tired and partly because I didn't even know it myself. But it was kinda true, I mean hey, I love Oreos, I can't get enough of them… What the hell was I supposed to say? Ha, that's my boss. I slept with him once but we tried to bury it in the ground and never talked about it ever since. And now he just kind of told me he loved me and tries everything in the world to make me happy but I have no clue what's going on right now and if I even want THIS. Yep, fuck my life. I have a feeling this version will not go down that easily. „Oh come on Donna, seriously? Stop overthinking and analysing every single part of your life, just enjoy tonight. Do me a favour, okay? Give him a try. Have you seen the way he looks at you? I would kill to find someone who is that passionate about me. And not just into my awesome, breathtaking and utterly perfect exterior. Gosh, it's so exhausting to be hot…" I laughed, her answer reminding me of why she was one of my best friends, the first part of her answer still swirling in my head. Was it really that obvious to everyone but me? Have I, have WE, overlooked and simply ignored something so perfect over the last decade? I was at a loss for words, overwhelmed once again tonight so I simply hugged her. I never hugged, Donna never shows personal involvement but oh well, tonight seems to change a lot, I guess… „Thanks, Mer. That's why I love you so much." Another 80 teeth smile on her part and I turned about to make my way to my dressing room, hoping to already find him there. For the first time in a long, long period of time I could feel butterflies in my belly. A fact that was making me entirely happy but also scared me to death. I stopped in front of the door that said „Donna Paulson, actor", proud to finally see my name somewhere written out and slowly opened the door. There he was, in all his perfection, giving me the same look he gave me when I was still standing on stage. „Hey you" he said, „you were amazing. I never thought you were that talented. Gosh, even I enjoyed Shakespeare tonight! But I have to tell you something." Confusion on my part now. He stood up now, torturously slow and made his way to me. He cupped my face with his hands, his gaze shifting between my eyes and my lips before leaning into me and brushing his lips against mine ever so slightly. I slowly started to gain confidence, leaned further into him and my lips parted, his tongue following my invitation suit as it worked its magic in my mouth. I don't how how long we were standing there in the middle of the messy room, smaller than most people's bathroom and without proper lighting but in this precise moment, neither of us wanted to complain about a thing in the world.

When our lips started to pull apart to catch our breath, we simply kept standing there and I could feel him smile against my lips. „What is it?" I whispered in a barely audible voice, yet loud enough for him to hear. „Well, that's what I was wanting to do since that one night." I rolled my eyes to hide my adoration, the man was already full of himself, he didn't need to know how perfect he was to me. „Ouch, that was really cheesy"

„Sorry, couldn't help it." He laughed, taking my hand in his for the second time today. _Damn, that__'__s really something I could get used to. _

„Let's go home" he said as he looked at me with determination. Confusion making it's way through my body. Harvey was too much of a Gentlemen, he wouldn't attempt something on the first evening of our, well let's call it change of minds. Or would he? „I'm not gonna sleep with you tonight, Harvey." He laughed once again. _What the hell is that supposed to mean, Mr Specter?_ „I wasn't planning to do so. I'm still some kind of a Gentlemen and even though it's really challenging my self control, I'm not trying anything, I promise." Even more confusion making its way through my body.

„Then why do you want me to go back to yours?"

„I guess I just don't want to miss you already."

Alrighty, that's the Pilot.

1) Every chapter is going to have a "theme song", a song that's representing what the next chapter is going to be about. I'll tell you the next song at the end of each chapter, so listen to the words closely and you know what it's going to be about. I really hope that made sense ;) An example would be Boom Clap, like I did for this chapter.

2) have 5 chapters already done and saved on my computer so if you like it, there's more waiting for you ;) Cut me some slack, that's my first post on FanFiction so I'm desperate to get some feedback :D Can't wait to get started on here & please please tell me what you think xx L

3) Song for next chapter:

Happy As The Sun - Tyrone Wells


	2. Happy As The Sun

Chapter 2

[happy as the sun]

„_Happy as the sun, _

_Lighter than a feather_

_Walking on the clouds _

_When we are together_

_Every day with you _

_Just keeps getting better_

_The worlds as it should be _

_When you are here with me__"_

_[tyrone wells - happy as the sun]_

I underwent a lot of awkward situations during my 35 years on this earth. From one night stands gone wrong to stranded relationship attempts to catching my sister in the act with my English teacher. But standing in an elevator with your boss you just made out with waiting for the damn thing to finally arrive on the 73rd floor because he had to buy a fucking penthouse in the fucking sky is definitely one of my favorites so far. I have to admit that I was probably the reason for this "uncomfortable atmosphere". We were standing next to each other, his hand on the small of my back again, lingering dangerously low and I was cursing high heavens for agreeing to go back with him to his place. What the hell was I thinking? That Harvey simply wanted to watch a movie with me? Eating Thai food and pouring out his depressed soul to me? Harvey was a ladies man. Everyone knew he was, so why would he waste his time with me?

That's when I felt both of his hands on my hips, flipping me around and pulling me closer to him. I looked up and instantly lost myself in his dark brown eyes for the millionth time today. _Awesome Paulson, one evening with him and you're already his lost, helpless puppy. _His mouth came to my ear, I closed my eyes when I felt his hot breath against my neck, waiting for what was about to come. „So" he asked in this sexy, husky voice only Harvey Specter could do. „Since sex is off the table for tonight, what about kissing?"

I laughed out nervously before I finally got it together again. _Man up, Paulson! _

„I never said anything against kissing" I mimicked his sexy voice, extended the space for a short period of time only to jump and straddle him vertically, silently congratulating myself for not wearing a dress right now. Jumping him right here and then got a whole new meaning right now. He caught me without even thinking about it, his hands right on my ass but I couldn't give a shit right now. My lips landed on his in an urgent need. He bit my lower lip, sucked on stand I simply marvelled the fact how a human being could be that amazing at kissing. Lots and lots of training, I guess. When our lips parted to catch our breath again, I could feel his mouth making its way down my neck and back up again to give me another passionate kiss. I jumped back on the ground when I heard the ringing of the elevator and the doors opening, the fresh air from outside causing the wet areas Harvey left on my neck to erupt in goose bumps. I've already been at his condo so many times for so many trivial reasons. I've even celebrated christmas with him once because no one of us had enough of a social life to have someone to celebrate christmas with. And here we go again again but everything felt so different. The right kind of different, though.

„You coming?" I snapped out of my daydream, smiled and followed suit. Everything was how it has always been. Harvey's condo was probably the most modern one in whole New York City yet it was so cold and so sterile that it always made me sad. There were no pictures, no personal belongings, no stuff that could purport the fact that someone was actually living here. Only white tiles and glass in order to cover up Harvey's emotional baggage. In this prospect his home couldn't mirror him in a better way.

„Alright, so there are two options for tonight" Harvey said. „ A) you're tired and want to sleep. I could give you a T-shirt and sweats and we're done for today. B) and my personal favorite one: We get something to eat, any alcoholic beverages you want, find a nice movie and hang out on the couch until you fall asleep. But it's your choice." I just starred at him in awe and marveled at the fact that he was really serious about this. „Definitely B). And I want Tequila and Chunky Monkey." I grinned at him, he grinned back and made his way to the fridge. „Of course I thought about the possibility of you wanting Chunky Monkey, so here you go" he threw a family size package across the room and I erupted in hysterical laughter. „Family size, Harvey? Really?"

„Well, you can eat like there's no tomorrow. You're even more greedy than Mike and he always orders 3 Hotdogs in order to get through the morning." I faked indignation and tried to playfully hit his chest, when he grabbed both of my palms and picked me up. I kicked and started to scream when he started to tickle me until I couldn't breathe from all the laughing anymore. He lay me down on the couch and waited for some kind of reaction from my side but I just kept quiet, silently planning my next attack. I jumped up catching him off guard and pulled him down on the couch with me. I rolled on top of him, straddling him once more and looked down on him with the sweetest smile I had to offer. „Beyond recovery I'd say, best closer in New York City" I expected some sort of cocky answer, maybe even some kind of revenge but he just lay there, looking up at me with puppy eyes and a blissful smile on his face. „You're beautiful" he blurted out, slightly out of context. I giggled, leant down and gave him a peck on the lips._ I slowly started to get used to the whole Harvey and Donna in a romantic way thing. _

„Where's my Tequila, Specter?" I faked a frown.

„Well, I can't move right now" he answered.

„Oh, I'm so sorry. I will never sit on you again. I probably shouldn't even get close to you again to make sure you can move a 100 per cent of your time" was my attempt of a sarcastic answer as I stood up. That already felt more familiar to me. Mocking and sarcastic answers were our thing. Harvey simply rolled his eyes. „I did not say that. And please, come here again." I laughed, letting him pull me down on his lap again. „We still need to decide on a movie. I'm open for everything." I laughed again. I knew that he would regret that statement sooner or later since I was a huge fan of insanely romantic sudsers And Disney movies.

„Hmm, what about The Notebook? I love that movie!" Aaand he was already regretting it. I could see him scrunching up his face so I tried to compromise. „You can choose the second one. And I swear, I will not fall asleep!" That definitely was a lie since I always fell asleep on the he knew it.

„Fine you win. Let's get you your alcohol and some clothes to change into and we're on it." The winner's fist, as I like to call it, on my part and I followed Harvey to his wardrobe. He handed me one of his Harvard Baseball shirts and sweat pants and I immediately started to change. I was over the fact that Harvey was staring at me, I mean sooner or later… whatever, he's already seen it. We made our way to the couch again and started the movie. What started off as casually lying next to each other ended up in 2 heavy make out sessions and me lying on his chest 2/3 into the movie. Not that I'm complaining, I just wanted to mention it.

„Okay, the movie really was awful. I mean come on,I knew how it's gonna end after 10 minutes!"

I slapped him on his arm before contradicting. „Are you fucking serious? This is like THE love story!" A doubting „Mmhh" escaped his lips. „So, second movie is my choice right? We're watching Top Gun!" A moan escaped my lips since I knew this one off by heart already. He already made me watch it on christmas. Twice. But as we lay there, cuddled up against each other, drinking Tequila, stolen kisses here and there and him stealing my Chunky Monkey (even though he still claims that he doesn't like it. Please, who doesn't like Chunky Monkey?!) I couldn't be happier. In fact, I was so happy that I fell asleep approximately 5 minutes later. _Congrats, Donna. You know how to make a man happy!_

I don't know for how long I've been asleep, when I felt him picking me up and carrying me somewhere, his bedroom I'd guess._ Bedroom. Havey's bedroom. With Harvey. _

My thoughts caused my eyes to fly open. „Hi" he grinned down at me. „You kind of broke your promise. You fell asleep. During Top Gun. This movie is one of the most important and best ones of our time, I mean how could someone EVER fall asleep during…"

„Harvey" I mumbled groggily.

„Yes?"

„Shut up."

I heard him laughing softly before he lay me down on the left side of his more than comfortable heaven he uses to call bed and I simply turned around without even changing out of my/his clothes. I listened to him running around the room, changing his clothes and brushing his teeth before the bed shifted under his weight. He crawled over to me, his arm draping its way across my waist and pushing me closer to him. His nose was in my hair and I couldn't help but ask.

„Harvey?"

„Hmm" was all he said.

„What is happening with us?" His head shot up at my words and I realized that my choice of words could've been better. A lot better, actually.

„I mean, everything kinda changed tonight. We never ever talked about what happened years ago because we didn't want to affect our work relationship and now… we're just risking it all. Is that really what you want?"

He took some time to think about my words and I waited anxiously for what was about to come.

„Listen Donna," I turned around wanting to see his face if he was about to end the world's shortest… well, thing. „I meant what I said earlier. You're the only one I have left now that Mike's irretrievably gone. And I always had feelings for you, you know that. And you always had feelings for me, I know that too. So let's just give this… thing a chance, alright? Even though everything seems to happen a lot faster than usually. I promise I'll try my best but please: Don't expect too much, you know me and my capability of having a social life let alone a relationship."

I smiled away my tears feeling slightly cheesy but I couldn't give a shit right now. Harvey wanted to give us a chance. That's all that counted.

„Well, let's just be Harvey and Donna and it will work."

I could make out his big grin even in the dimly lit room and couldn't help snuggling closer to him. Resting my head on his chest, I listened to his steadying heartbeat. I decided to just let it be for tonight. I decided not to worry him with our future for now, with how the other partners will throw a tantrum as soon as they find out about us. With Jessica leading the way.

Hi again!

I already posted the second one because oh well, I'm eager to hear from you ;) I know that everything in this story is happening rather fast and it might be a tiny bit cheesy but I was just tired of stories that take 20 chapters to where they wanna go. Don't know if you're with me but I really hope so! I apologize for any spelling/grammar mistakes, I tried my best to prevent them but you never know... Anyway, since this is my first story on here and I have no idea if this is good or ... not, just tell me what you think please!

Song for next chapter:

Nitesky - Robot Koch feat. John LaMonica

(I do know that my taste in music is creepy, no need to tell me that. My family already took care of that :D)


	3. Nitesky

Chapter 3

[nitesky]

„_No one knows_

_What it__'__s like_

_You and me, you and I_

_And if you rip my soul out_

_You rip my soul out_

_But it will come right back to you.__"_

_[robot koch feat. john lamonica - nitesky]_

It was supposed to be simple, normal day at the office. But let me tell you: It wasn't. The day started off very promising, almost perfect with Harvey waking me up, making me a peanut butter and jelly sandwich followed by a joint drive to work, Ray politely but knowingly smiling at us. I was terrified to walk into the office, yet I didn't tell Harvey about it. In fact we haven't talked about the whole Jessica and work thing at all but I knew that he was about to tell her today. Jessica was his work related yang, she knew him even longer than I did and I knew he anticipated reception from her. God knows what will happen if she didn't give him any.

We walked into the office together, an occurrence that happened just about… well, never. I'm always in the office before him, mostly at least an hour in order to prep his whole day, god forbid something wasn't ready when mister best closer of New York City entered his holy halls. Bam, the first red flags should be raised by now. I saw Rachel walking by us in a blink of an eye, feeling her lingering stare on me. _We're fucked. Well, I'm fucked. I'm just the secretary, he's Mr Perfect. _

„Bye, see you later" I mumbled, acknowledging the nonsense I just said since my cubicle was like 20 feet away from his desk.

„See you later" he chuckled and I sat down, slamming my face in my hands, reminding me why the hell I was doing all… this. Mike was still trying everything to make his idea work and therefor he had to figure out a way to take down Harvey. And here I was, his secretary slash girlfriend, the perfect way to make him lose a lot of his investors for this very case.. if not all of them. I was his downfall, his bitch karma. I started working since I was already an hour late than usual and tried not to look at the hot lawyer opposite of me, drinking his coffee and reading today's client's documents oh so perfectly.

My mind was racing, I couldn't focus on anything the paper's on my computer were saying so I made my way to the restroom trying to regain any of my mental ability. I started washing my hands just to occupy myself with something and stared in the mirror across the sink, when a familiar brunette made her way to me. She wasn't looking too amused to say the least.

„Rachel" I winced, realizing how terrified my voice actually sounded. _Man the fuck up, Paulson. She's your best friend, not your mother!_

„So, I guess my eyes didn't deceive me judging from your odd behavior."

„What do you mean?" I answered nonchalantly, hoping it would distract her.

„Cut this shit, Donna. You know exactly what I mean." Didn't work I guess.

„What do you want me to say, Rachel? I don't have to justify myself in front of you. Out of all the people in this fucking office you're the one to attack me first. Wow, you're such an amazing best friend."

„You're fucking your boss and want everyone to know about it, what the hell do you expect me to think about you? What happened to your last piece of dignity?!"

oh shit. That's how it looks like. Shit. Me fucking my boss, a no strings attached kind of thing, trying to let everyone know. Awesome.

„You don't know anything, Rachel. How the hell did you find out anyway?"

She let out an sarcastic laugh, one of the kind that gets under your skin because of your fricken bad conscience.

„I didn't even know, I just saw you two coming to the office together and well, I put 2 and 2 together after all these years I listened to your crap about Harvey. But you just confirmed it yourself."

I shook my head feeling degraded, misunderstood and kind of betrayed. How the hell would the rest of the office react if even Rachel went ballistic about it.

And then it happened. For the first time in my 10 years at Pearson Specter I started to cry in front of someone and I immediately remembered why I hated it so much. Crying shows vulnerability, never ever cry. That was Harvey and my mantra, our unspoken rule. Rachel was clearly overwhelmed with the situation as well. She took a step towards me and took me in her arms, forgetting about our argument for a while.

„I hate that he can do this to you. Why are you putting yourself through this? He's not good for you, even if he tries. He'll never be wedding material and you know it all too well."

„He…he promised to try" I heaved through my heavy sobbing. „He changed, and I want to believe him, Rach. I wanted this to happen for so long, so just let me try. He's probably talking to Jessica right now about…it."

She looked at me with doubtful eyes, I knew that I couldn't convince her with my little speech but at least I broke the ground. She'll come around sooner or later. I hope.

„So it's not only about sex? I mean, he is, sorry was, a ladies man after all, you know?" Rachel asked clearly uncomfortable.

„We didn't even have sex yesterday. It's only been going on for a day, don't overestimate it just yet, alright? We just decided to start it off right and that means telling everyone as soon as possible. And believe me, it sucks."

„Wait, wait. Nothing happened? Seriously? Whyyy?"

_ .Fuck. First she's judging me for sleeping with my boss and now because I didn't. Fuck you too, Rachel._

„Are you kidding me? You're not helpful at all right now!"

She let out small laugh, well that's at least a beginning. My buzzing phone snapped us out of our „quality time". Or whatever this was.

_Meet me in Jessica__'__s office in 10 minutes. _

_Need to talk to you about something. _

That didn't really sound optimistic. I excused myself, hugged Rachel and quickly left the room. _Kinda sorting things out with Rachel - Check! _

Before I could even enter Jessica's office, Harvey pulled me into the file room. Wow, that makes it even more confinable and serious between us for any outsiders who might see us. G_reat job, Specter._

„Where have you been?" he asked, clearly as tense and overwhelmed as I was.

„Rachel knows. I didn't tell her, she just knew. It looks like we're having one of these no strings attached things to everyone else, Harvey. We're fucked. Your Reputation is fucked, I'm never gonna find another job after all this is over. We're simply f.u.c.k.e.d.!" I threw my hands in the air to emphasise whatever the fuck was going on inside me.

„Shh, shh." he tried to calm me down and took me in his arms. I put my head on his chest, listening to his heartbeat once again. „Nobody's reputation is fucked and nobody gets fired. We just need to convince Jessica and that's… not gonna be easy." I started sobbing once again and he just cupped my face in his hands kissing my forehead. „I want you Donna. And we're gonna fight if we have to, okay?"

Truth be told, I didn't want to fight. I just wanted a simple relationship with a man who loves me. A man that made my life easier, not ten thousand times harder. But sadly that's not possible in Donna-Land.

„So you're in?" I snapped out of my thoughts.

„Sorry, what?" I shook my head in confusion

„Do you want to fight if we have to?"

I didn't have to think twice. This was it, I didn't have all the time in the world after all.

„Harvey, have you ever seen Donna refusing a challenge?"

His response? A knowing smile. The most genuine one I've ever seen on his face, to be honest and then he simply kissed me like we've been already doing this for all our lives.

„That's my girl."

Now a toothy grin on my part. Those words just sounded too good to be true.

_Hi, I'm Donna Paulson. I'm Harvey Specter's girl._

oookay, 3rd chapter is up. I don't know if you've heard this song before but I definitely recommend listening to it. It's one of my fav songs forever now, I guess :D I don't know what to think about this story at the moment but the happy bliss is gonna be challenged soon, I promise. So don't get used to it please :D

OC is coming soon!

Next chapter's song: Day of the Battle - Jonas Myrin (listen to the acoustic version, way nicer!)


	4. Day Of The Battle

Chapter 4

[day of the battle]

„_I come for you, you come for me_

_In this firestorm_

_I fight for you, you fight for me_

_we keep marching on_

_This is the day of the battle_

_we__'__re fighting fire with fire_

_This is the day of the battle for life.__"_

_[jonas myrin - day of the battle]_

_His response? A knowing smile. The most genuine one I__'__ve ever seen on his face, to be honest and then he simply kissed me like we__'__ve been doing this for all our lives._

„_That__'__s my girl.__"_

_Now a toothy grin on my part. Those words just sounded too good to be true._

_Hi, I__'__m Donna Paulson. I__'__m Harvey Specter__'__s girl._

A forcefully opened door snapped us out of our private bubble.

„I really hope this is not the reason you wanted to talk to me so urgently" Jessica Pearson spat out in the most intimidating voice I've ever heard. And I'm not one of these people who feel intimidated very easily.

„Sorry to disappoint you, that's exactly what I wanted to talk to you about."

She gave him the look of doom again, carefully overthinking her next words.

„Well, my answer is simple. You cannot be together. At least not officially. A senior partner sleeping with his secretary would be public suicide for us and you know all too damn well, Harvey that we cannot afford it right now. What you two do in your free time is none of my business. But the both of you are valued staff members of this firm and because of that you know that this" her finger flickering between the two of us „is not possible. As much as I appreciate that you two finally found each other."

Her answer really was simple. She clearly did not give her blessing to us.

Worst case scenario was happening right now. At least we had a day to be happy. Better than nothing, I guess.

„Jessica, you cannot forbid us to be together. I used to value your opinion, more than my own sometimes to be honest but it's not your place to tell me who I get to date and who's on your personal black ."

_Mental note: Fighting with Jessica Pearson - pointless._

„Starting to date your secretary in the middle of the most complicated, most personal and most important case of your career is not only an disadvantage to YOU. It's a disadvantage to the whole firm, Harvey."

„What are you trying to tell me?"

„I'm telling you not to make it official just yet. What you're doing after this… clash, that's your problem. But don't run to me if this destroyed your career"

To simplify what she just said: „If you have to have a secret, dirty affair with your secretary, don't let anyone know until the whole Mike-thing is over. Everything that happens after that is none of my fucking business and I don't care if you get yourself fired. At least we win that damn case. Oh, and keep me the fuck out of it"

You just gotta love lawyers. They're so emotional. And kind. And respectful.

My mind was still processing all of this, Harvey was simply nodding. _A muzzled Harvey. Striking event in the history of Pearson Specter._

„I understand." was Harvey's wisdom of the day. _No shit Sherlock, it doesn't take a Harvard degree to solve that riddle!_

„Wow, that was…face. I can see why she's the perfect lawyer."

Harvey still tried to wrap his mind around what just happened. And what it would means for us in the end.

— _wherever this goes __—_

„Have you seen her face?! Like we just killed all her cute little baby unicorns she bred in the backyard of her 3 million dollar condo!" I yelled at him back at his place after a long, exhausting day of pretend at the office. Our nerves were raw to say the least.

„A condo doesn't have a backyard."

„THAT'S NOT THE FUCKING POINT, HARVEY!" I yelled at him, figuring out a way in my head to kill him in the most torturous and painful way.

„She'll destroy you if you make it official. We can't do this, it's not worth all this.."_ Oh shit, not a very clever thing to say._

„What do mean, it's not worth it? You know I'm serious about this, about us and I'm trying my best here but you're not helping at all, actually!"

„That's not what I meant, Harvey" I groaned, throwing my hands in the air. Fighting with him was the last thing I needed today. „I know you for a very long time now and you've never been serious about anyone but yourself. So it's only natural that I don't have that much faith in your sudden change of mind just yet. Damn it, you're Harvey Specter. What am I supposed to think?"

„So my name is now a justification for your unfair behavior?! I haven't done anything to fuck you off just yet, have I? Why can't you just believe me, damn it?" He looked at me with hurt in his eyes, very similar to the way he eyed me in that bathroom two years ago when I forgot about that document which got me fired in the end. Way too similar.

I just turned about and made my way to the bathroom, closing the door shut in one maybe a tad too forceful motion. My back slid down the door, resulting in me sitting huddled up against the door, head on my knees and crying for what felt like the thousandth time today. This thing was already killing me. I was over the fact that I was with Harvey, THE Harvey that used to be my best friend for over a decade. I already wrapped my mind around it. But what was slowly eating me up inside was the thought of destroying his career, his holy career, if this, if we, went wrong. The stakes were high, we knew that all along, but maybe they are too high at this point.

I heard a knock on the door, of course he came after me. Why couldn't he be the asshole he used to be, making both of our lives easier.

„Donna, come on. We'll get through this, it'll get easier."

„We've been doing this for exactly one day now and we're already fucking this up." My voice was muffled by the fabric of my dress.

„Could you please let me in? I don't exactly enjoy talking through doors." He complained, sounding like a little spoiled princess.

I slowly got up and opened the door, my heart reminding itself why I was doing this as I saw Harvey standing there, grinning at me with his trademark Specter Smile._ Kill me now._

„Come here" he whispered as he pulled me into a tight hug, my head comfortably resting on his chest. „Let's just do this. We try to keep it low till that shit case is finished and after that everyone can now. I'll even wear a button with „I love Donna Paulson" on it if you want me to."

My heart skipped a beat. Did he just tell me unwillingly that he loved me? Everything was going so damn fast.

„I'll definitely make you wear one of those, mister" I gave back, smiling into his chest and totally content with life for a blink of an eye. Only for a blink of an eye though.

_I wake up every evening with a big smile on my face and it never feels out of place._

Oh no.

_And you__'__re still probably working at a 9/5 pace, I wonder how bad that tastes._

I hate my life.

_When you see my face, I hope it gives you hell, hope it gives you hell. When you walk my way, I hope it gives you hell, hope it gives you hell._

Baaam, bitch karma strikes again.

„What the hell is that song?" Harvey asked, confusion written all over his face.

„That's my phone." My eyes were pressed together tightly. I was too afraid to open them just yet, hoping my phone would just shut up if I ignored it.

„Aaaaaand?"

„Well, that song is indicating that my bitch of a sister is calling."

And that was number 4. I know that the last two updates were on the shorter side but hey, this is the 4th update I've given you today :D Don't expect me to update that fast in the future though please, I've already written these like weeks ago. Just wanted to mention it :D

And here we go again, next chapter's Song: Ours - Taylor Swift (Chapter name is gonna be different though)


	5. Ghosts From Our Past

Chapter 5

[ghosts from your past]

„You never know what people have up there sleeves

Ghosts from your past gonna jump out at me

The stakes are high

The water's rough

But this love is ours"

[taylor swift - ours]

„_Well, that song is indicating that my bitch of a sister is calling.__"_

Silence.

_Now you__'__ll never see what you__'__ve done to me. And here__'__s all your lies, you can look me in the eyes with the same sad look that you wear so well._

„What?! Since when do you have a sister?! I've never heard you talking about a sister! How can someone just forget to mention their sister for over 14 years?!"

„Not now, Harvey!"

I sprinted to the kitchen, bracing myself for the storm. It's my turn to destroy her life now and god knows, I can. At least that was my intention when I answered my god damn phone. Take a deep breath. And go.

„What do you want?" I growled into my iPhone.

„Oh wow, hey sister dearest. I missed you too. My life is going well, thanks for asking."

„Cut that shit, Jenn. I'm not up for a cute little exchange of niceties, especially not with you. Since when do you care about someone other than yourself anyways?" I spat out, rolling my eyes and already trying to figure out a way to get rid of her.

„I haven't really talked to you since… that incident. And that was ages ago. I'm so sorry for what happened back then and I realized that I never actually apologized for what I did. So here I am, begging for forgiveness. Can I please see you sometime? To sort things out? I want my sister back, please. I need you."

I gulped. I wanted to open a new door in my life. WITH the new version of Harvey and WITHOUT my shitty past. And therefor I needed to close another one. I know, that was cheesy. I'm bad at metaphors and not really in the mood right now.

„Fine. Come to New York and we'll talk." I tried to sound as harsh and pissed as possible, not wanting her to get away so easily. Not this time. I never thought that she REALLY wanted to come. Damn it, I thought that was just a goodbye-bad-conscience kind of call. Even though it was a little late. Cough. little.

„Great, I'll be there by tomorrow. I'll let you know when I'm at JFK, Love you." _Wait what._

I didn't want to sound surprised. _She didn't deserve to surprise me, not after what she did to me._ So I breathed out, snorted out a grumbled „Great" and hang up on her. What the fuck was going on? Why the hell would she want to be okay with me now? Since when did she give a fuck about me?

Harvey was standing right behind me now, his left eyebrow higher than ever. Apparently I had a lot of explaining to do.

„So… you have a sister. A sister you never even mentioned."

„Twin sister, to be exact. And no, she's not worth mentioning."

My relationship with my sister was, well… disturbed 17 years ago. Since then a christmas or birthday card consisting of 2 words and our signature was basically our whole communication. Until today, at least.

„I know you probably don't wanna talk about it but…"

„I caught her and my boyfriend of that time in the act" I cut him off, already knowing what he was about to ask. I couldn't blame him. I probably would've skinned him alive if I found out about his secret twin brother. It was fucking creepy and I was marveling his calmness, to be honest.

„He was my English teacher. YES, I'm one of these dirty little whores who slept with their teachers to answer your next question"

„I was NOT about to ask that question. Even though it's kind of hot.."

„Eww Harvey, shut up. Not cool." He laughed and simply gave me that look. That look that reassures you that someone's listening to your private crisis. That their actually interested in what's going on with you.

„Anyway, we had that thing going on for like almost a year and my sister was the only one who knew about it. I was 18, he was 40 and already divorced. I was legal but it was still, well unconventional to say the least, so we couldn't really tell anyone. My sister found out by accident and I knew that she knew but then our drama club had that big premier thing and of course he was there too. She texted me 30 minutes before the play was about to start that my mum had an accident, only those 4 words, no details. I stormed out of school, of course, I thought my mom was about to die. Well, it turned out that mum cut herself with a kitchen knife. A fucking kitchen knife. We put a band aid on it and that was pretty much it. When I came back to my dressing room, the play hadn't started yet, I saw my sister fucking my boyfriend aka teacher on my fricken makeup stand."

„Uuuh, burn in hell." Harvey scrunched up his face.

„Yeah well, she made him believe that she was me and that she, well I, had a bad case of stage fright right now and desperately needed some cheering up. On my makeup stand. I really liked that makeup stand."

„What happened then?" His eyes were wide, as if watching the most thrilling movie he's ever seen, waiting for the big showdown.

„Well, what do you think? I caused a show only Donna could cause and destroyed both of them in front of everyone. But as pleasing as the yelling and humiliating was, there was a tiny little downside I hadn't calculated. Everyone, including my parents who sat in the audience, even my „injured" mother, knew that I was sleeping with my teacher now. So I was fucked, my sister was fucked and my teacher was fucked. Everyone of us was fucked. Literally, well except for me. I only found out later that he really thought she was me, so technically he wasn't cheating on me knowingly. But I broke up anyway. Just to be safe."

He looked at me, totally aghast.

„Your life story is really creepy, you know that right?"

I laughed out, throwing my arms around his neck. „Oh please, you love it."

_My turn to let it slip. Oops. _

„I really do" I kissed him now to prevent any awkward stares and, oh well, just because I wanted to.

„But there's a teeny tiny hitch." I scrunched up my nose, hoping he wouldn't jump me in the face after listening to my words.

„She's coming to New York tomorrow. And I wanna rub it in her face till it's bleeding, so could we please please pretend that we've been together for like 5 years? Make it seem a little more serious? Pleeeaaase, she's always been the winner, always been daddy's little girl. She needs to burn in fucking hell. Please. Oh and do not mention the fact that Jessica thinks we are not supposed to be together or I'm gonna skin you alive. We are the perfect couple, we don't have any issues. Never. make her believe that we have everything she doesn't have because she chose to be a filthy whore, okay?" I put on my begging face. It always worked with Harvey. At least when it comes to handbags. And dresses. And shoes.

He laughed again. „Okay, I'm in. I kind of owe you. But you confused something."

Confusion on my part „What?"

„A) it is serious between us. B) technically we've been married for the last 7 years as you like to point out and C) we are the perfect, sexy couple, alright? We're Donna and Harvey, don't forget that!"

I was about to make a comment about how cheesy he was but then it hit me: It was serious between us, we've known each other forever and we were perfect. We were Harvey and Donna after all. So I just jumped right at him again, like our kiss in the elevator and crossed my legs around his torso. I hugged him as tightly as I could before kissing him on the cheek. „Thanks of being so awesome Harvey." He kissed me once more.

„Can we please sleep now? Today has been a horrific day, well, there were horrific parts, let's put it like this. And it's kinda taking its toll on me now." He really looked run over by a train. Well, as run over by a train as Harvey could look.

„Let's get you in bed then." Three days ago, I'd never thought I'd ever say these words to Harvey. But I just did. And I'm damn happy about that.

We went to his bedroom when it hit me: I didn't have any stuff at his apartment. And people who have been in a serious, perfect relationship for 5 years usually live together.

„Oh shit. I need to get my stuff here."

„We can do it tomorrow before work, I could give you the morning off since I'm your boss, you know" He winked at me and I just shook my head. He was simply unbelievable. And not in a good way most of the time. I changed into his Harvard T-shirt and we brushed our teeth before we threw ourselves on his bed, crawling under the covers in high speed. He lay down flat on his back, pulling me right onto him. There we were, lying on top of each other in the most innocent way.

„I'm really glad that you're here" he said barely above a whisper, making me smile. _Sensitive Harvey was so cute._

He cocked his head and I leaned into him until our noses were touching. He brushed my lips in a featherlight motion until both of us started to gain confidence and the kiss heated up. We pulled apart to catch our breath and he looked at me as if waiting on an answer.

„Well, I don't plan on leaving all too soon"

Well, that was my personal turn on the story. For now :D And that's also all I've got for you for now, even though chapter 6 is almost done too. But anyway, review review review please, I have no idea what I'm doing right now & I could use some constructive criticism at this point 3 See you soon, x L

Next chapter's song (very creative, cough..not.): Gives You Hell by The All American Rejects

See you then 3


	6. Gives You Hell

Chapter 6

[gives you hell]

„where's your picket fence, love?

and where's that shiny car?

and did it ever get you far?

yeah, when you you see my face

hope it gives you hell, hope it gives you hell

when you walk my way

hope it gives you hell, hope it gives you hell."

[all american rejects-gives you hell]

10.15 AM, JFK Airport, New York City

"Thought you'd never come." Jenn hissed while throwing her bags in the trunk of Harvey's Lexus I borrowed for today. Plus Ray of course.

I already regretted my hospitality. Why didn't she just stay wherever the hell she came from? Making life easier for the both of us.

"Don't push it, Jenn. You've only been here for 10 seconds."

"Jeez, it's been 17 years. I thought you got over it by now."

She was unbelievable. Simply unbelievable.

"Jenn, it's not about what you've done anymore." I gave back as calm as possible, motioning for her to get in the car. I didn't want to waste anytime at this place of horror. I hated airports. Especially JFK.

"I mean yes, it is. But it's also about your fucking behaviour afterwards. You didn't even try to apologise, you just ignored me as if I was the guilty one!"

"You were guilty, Donn. You humiliated me in front of everyone. You basically destroyed my life that night."

"Well, that's cause you deserved it." That shut her up. Girl had some attitude but I was about to fight fire with fire. We didn't say anything to each other for the rest of the ride and I took my time to simply look at the girl next to me. She looked so unfamiliar to me and all grown up now (well, kind of logical, she's my twin sister.)Her auburn hair was a lot shorter than mine, barely touching her shoulders. The scar on her forehead from when we learned how to ride a bike was still visible even though she was wearing make up right now. The rest of her was exactly similar to me, it was almost scary how similar we looked. On our drive to Harvey's home I thought about what I actually knew about her. I knew the childhood things of course, like how that scar on her forehead came into existence. I knew that she always wanted to go to Stamford Medical school when we were little since we grew up on the west coast, San Francisco to be more precise. Obviously, wanting to go to Stamford was not far too seek. I, on the other hand, was always the creative one. I never wanted to go to college, let alone some elite school. I wanted to be an actor but oh well, we see how well that worked out. Jenn has always been the pragmatic one, one of the many reasons my dad chose to favour her over me. She was always the winner and I went to New York when I was 18, almost 19 and couldn't take it anymore, the same year the thing with Jenn and my teacher happened and I finished High School. I started to work at the DA's office, Harvey only came into the picture 2 years later when I was finally 21. And the run of events started. At that time I already lost sight of my sister and my whole family in general. Well, until Jenn's call 2 days ago.

We pulled up in front of the familiar building and we got out, Ray already handing my sister her luggage. She had been dangerously quiet until now and I chose to embrace those final moments of peace.

"So secret boyfriend has some cash, huh?"

"He's not secret actually, we've been together for 5 years now. He's a senior partner at Pearson Specter."

"Uhh a lawyer" Jenn winked and I turned about, rolling my eyes and leading the way.

— _wherever this goes __—_

I looked at the clock on the wall. 4.50 PM. Harvey promised to get off earlier but that still meant that he wouldn't be home before 6.30 PM. Jenn hadn't talked much. She marvelled at our (well, Harvey's) taste in designing "our" condo and immediately occupied the guest room. She simply said she had to work a bit and I was too embarrassed to ask as what. I was her sister after all and siblings should know each others profession. Even if the sister was a bitch.

I made my way from the kitchen to the guest room and knocked reluctantly.

"Come in"

I opened the door ajar.

"Do you wanna grab something to eat? There's an excellent Chinese place right around the corner."

"Yes, I love…"

"Chinese food, I know. Me too." She smiled and jumped up, grabbed her Trench Coat and was already out of the door.

"You coming?" She shouted across the room.

She really had some attitude but hey, she's my twin. What would you expect? I took my winter coat, preparing ourselves for the chilly November wind outside. _The only reason I miss the West Coast sometimes. The weather._

We made our way outside, an awkward silence lingering between us. I still didn't even know why she was here but I was damn sure about one thing: She wasn't here to apologise and I could swear I was going to find out the real reason very soon.

"So, tell me something about boy wonder. He seems to be a real catch!"

I looked to my feet, walking around the corner.

"Well, there's not a lot to tell you. You're gonna meet him tonight. We met at the DA's office, he was and still is my boss. Well, kind of. We're like best friends or whatever you wanna call it. We've been in a relationship for 5 years now & it's pretty serious. That's it."

Jenn smiled.

"I'm happy for you, really." I couldn't quite make out if she was serious, I doubted it, to be honest.

"Well, we're here" I said, pointing at the small Chinese place that looked like the the fastest and most efficient way to catch a nice, little food poisoning. But the egg rolls were phenomenal.

"Let's just grab something to go and eat at home, the owner and his wife always get into really bad fights. Last time Harvey and I went there, a knife came flying out of the kitchen. Believe me, you don't want to witness that."

Jenn snickered and went into the restaurant, I followed her suit when I saw an all too familiar face ordering Szechuan Noodles With Spicy Beef Sauce. Don't ask me what the hell that is, I have no idea.

"Oh Louis, carbohydrates? What the hell happened to day?"

Lous flinched, he obviously hadn't noticed me until now.

"Donna? Where have you been today? And why would have something bad happened today?" he gave back in a put on annoyed voice. I know he worshipped the ground I walked on and I know that he wanted me to ask. He didn't seem to notice Jenn yet so I decided to postpone their meeting for a few more minutes. Jenn and Louis? Not a good combination.

"Well, I'm Donna I just know. But if you wanna know why I know that something happened, my answer is simple: Carbohydrates. You don't eat Carbohydrates anymore since the firm's big anniversary is in exactly 6 days from today & you know that Sheila's coming too. And of course you wanna look good, hence no carbohydrates. So what happened?" _I was A.M.A.Z.I.N.G. _

"I really have no idea why I'm even telling Norma things like this… I really need a new secretary. But Harvey, that's what happened. Maybe he's on his period at the moment or maybe he just went back to hating me but he's been acting like a dick all day and stole my granola bars & my roller pens from me. And no, that's not funny. The only reasons that I'm still at Pearson Specter are my granola bars & my fricken pens! What the hell is wrong with that man? I don't steal his hair gel either, because that would be just asocial. But of course the great Harvey Specter can…"

"Alright, alright Louis, I got it. Harvey ruined your day, I'm gonna talk to him. That's my sister, by the way." _Ripped up the band aid, nicely done Paulson!_

"Holy shit!" Louis exclaimed. "She..You…look exactly the same. The devil has a twin sister! Satan has a twin sister!"

"Well, I'm used to people calling me Jenn but hey, Satan works too! Nice to meet you." Jenn smiled, extending her hand to Louis. I could swear, there was some sympathy between these two. I'm Donna, I can feel things like this. _Good heavens, please let me be wrong. For the first time in my life though._

"Yeah, we gotta order and run, we've got a lot of stuff planned, you know!"

"Of course, of course!" Louis answered, still staring at Jenn's face. "It was an exceeding pleasure to meet you, Jenn!" With that he grabbed his food and left the restaurant. And left a dazed Jenn behind. "Ooookay, that was strange. And boy wonder was an asshole today?"

Of course she had to mention that. "Yep, he can be a bit…defiant when it comes to Louis, you know."

"I kind of understand that" she spluttered and simply shook his head. It was our turn to order now and I got some fired curry rice for Harvey too. I was the perfect girlfriend after all.

"okay, you got everything?" she nodded and we made our way back to "my" condo. It was 6.15 now and Harvey would be home soon. And I had no idea how it would turn out. And the whole thing frightened the shit out of me. _You're better than her now, remember that. You finally got what you always wanted. Always keep that in mind. And don't forget to breath, also a pretty important factor to make all this work._

**okay, chapter 6 is finally up now. We don't know anything about Jenn's life yet but I wanted her to meet Harvey first, so the big uncoverings will happen very, very soon!**

**Also, thank you so much for your reviews! Thanks for your kind words, that's what keeps me going! & I wanted to answer to one review. **

"**Wow, Rachel really sucks as a friend here.****" That's true & it was planned. I have to give this story something to make it interesting & everyone approving of their relationship is very unoriginal and not really realistic, he's her boss after all. Rachel is gonna change, I promise. She's not bona be the problem but as soon as there's no new problem, I need to have some controversy in this story. So that's that.**

**Next chapter's song: Wicked Wonderland - Martin Tungevaag**

**Yep, it's gonna be a party episode (or at least a huge part of it!)**

**Have a nice day/evening/night & please please tell me why you think!**


	7. Starting Over

**Okay, major change of plans, obviously. I know, I promised a party chapter and I started writing it but it just didn't fit yet. It's definitely coming but I first have to explain a few things & something huge has to happen before that. This chapter is only a workaround. I don't want to put too much stuff into one chapter, I just felt like this one is done. But expect a new "real" update this weekend!**

Chapter 7

[starting over]

"We fall so hard

Now we gotta get back what we lost

I thought you'd go

But you were with me all along"

[starting over - macklemore feat. ben bridwell]

I finally figured out a way to grill Jenn about how her life is going right now without me being the bitch. And the solution was pretty damn easy. Harvey' gonna do it. It would only be polite to get to know your wanna-be sister in law. And that's exactly what he did.

"So, Jenn. What are you doing for a living?" _Oh wow, what a creative way of asking her that. I'm impressed._

"Actually, I just got promoted. I'm an attending now, head of our general surgery department." Well, she didn't sound too excited about that.

"So you did go to Stamford?" I asked. _shit, I just wrecked the whole thing._

"Why do you sound so surprised? I always wanted to go there, you know that."

"Yeah, yeah," I tried to graciously talk myself out of this. "I haven't talked to mom and dad in a while. I just wanted to make sure.." My whole body tensed. Here I was again, so sure of myself and yet hating on my sister for chasing her dreams. Harvey sensed my discomfort and put an arm around me, pulling me closer to him. We sat in our living room, Harvey and I on the white couch and Jenn opposite from us in the armchair, her legs crossed and a whiskey in her hand. She looked exactly like I did when Harvey and I would work late and discussed our problems in his office. Our relation really couldn't be denied.

"Well, that's nice. Congratulations." Harvey said, smiling genuinely. Jenn looked outside now, letting her eyes wander about nighttime New York City.

"I don't know if taking over the department was a masterstroke of my boss. I doubt it, to be honest." I narrowed my eyes, slowly starting to look through her overly sisterly facade. Harvey, in total lawyer mode now, already sensed an opportunity.

"What do you mean?"

Jenn remained silent again, staring at her glass of scotch in utter bitterness.

"I…I killed someone. 3 months ago, heart transplantation. They thought I was the best in my field and insisted that I was operating. And I fucked up." she whispered with tears in her eyes.

"The Chief knew about it. And he still promoted me only 2 months after…it… Why the fuck would you promote a fricken murderer?" she shouted now, totally losing her temper. I still tried to comprehend what she was saying, I tried to figure out a way to handle this. But like always, Harvey was faster.

"Mistakes happen, Jenn. You can't save everyone, death comes with your job. I represented a lot of doctors who got sued by grieving families and every single one of them was devastated. You just need to learn to accept it, there's nothing else you can do about this."

Jenn simply grunted. "Need to accept it? What the fuck am I supposed to accept? That I killed a one-year-old because I wasn't focused? Because I had to pity myself for being cheated on? That's what I call fucking egocentric, I could've let someone else do it for me. But no, Dr Paulson had to prove herself. And she fucked up again. They couldn't even celebrate his 1st birthday" Harvey and I both tried to understand her puzzle pieces of sentences she threw at us but believe me, it wasn't easy. Her face was in her hands now, sobbing horribly and that's when I realised: People decide which part of them they want you to see. And which one they wanna bury in the ground. Even my seemingly perfect twin did that. Harvey looked at me, as unsure about how to react as I was and I just stood up. I walked across the room, pulled her on her feet and wrapped my arms around her as tightly as I could.

"I quit 3 days ago, effective immediately. I wanna start over, I want to finally be able to live with myself. That's why I'm here." she was still sobbing. But for some twisted reason I was relieved. She was here to come clean, without any vicious hidden agenda. And I really wanted to believe that for a while.

"_**D**__**o not, do NOT, no matter what happens, let harvey and donna and jen**__**n**__** have 3 way sex... Or just harvey and jenn... Maybe I have a dirty mind but I felt there was a slight implication, slight threat there. Ugh. Shudder. **__**"**_

_**ha, haha, hahaha, hahahaha! Whoever you are, I love you & you definitely made my day! I reread the whole story because, well, I did not plan on any of that haha! And I really have no idea why you think that but oh well, I love you for that! And I can soothe your nerves, there's no threesome planned :-DD **_

_**Also, I'm really glad that you like this kind of fast forward story. I know that all of us are waiting for them to finally get together & even though it feels slightly out of character: They're endgame, I can feel it & I need it. Or I'll hate suits forever and always… No, I can't and I won't but you get my point ;)**_

_**Well, like I said: this is only a workaround & the next "real" chapter is coming sooner than you think, so prepare yourself ;)**_


	8. This Ride We're On

Chapter 8

[This Ride We're On]

"hold on, wait until that lone sun

breaks from the arms of the lord

hold on, though we may be too young

to know this ride we're on"

[ben howard - depth over distance]

It's been almost a week since Jenn's major confession slash breakdown slash I don't know and I would be lying if I said that everything was back to "normal". Normal for our standards, of course.

It was saturday morning, 10 AM. Harvey and I decided to sleep in after a long week that came straight from hell and we were standing in the bathroom, getting ready for the day dead slow. Again, for our standards of course. And we were from New York after all, so slow is a very subjective adjective.

"We need to do something, all she does is sitting in her room regretting her mistake and letting it eat her up inside. We have to help her!" Harvey started to debate before putting his tooth brush in his mouth. I was standing right next to him brushing my hair but instantly stopped when I started to see through his plan. The Pearson Specter big anniversary tonight.

"We can't take her with us. She's gonna cause trouble again, I can feel it. She doesn't know anyone and she's not a big fan of lawyers, don't take that personally." I patted his shoulder and it was his turn to stop what he was doing. He spit out the toothpaste and gave me a look of doom.

"She's your sister. She has you and me to talk to and Louis will definitely hit on her. She will find someone to talk to. She desperately needs a change, Donna." _Knock knock, the lawyer in him is scratching the surface again._He knew he had already convinced me. Or in other words, he knew that I already started feeling guilty. That was the thing with us, if we had to use words, the battle's already lost. Even though we never ever lose. But hypothetically speaking. He put his hands on my waist, pulling me closer to him.

"She apologised already. She can't undo what she did but at least she's trying. Give her a second chance." I laughed out and shook my head.

"Oh wow, may I present: Harvey Reginald Specter, master of forgiving Ex-Whores."

"Well, I'm a master at a lot of things" he winked, giving me the trademark smile. And that's when it got uncomfortable. Neither of us wanted to jump the gun on getting our thing to the next level and Harvey did everything within his power to convince me of his change of mind. But apparently that included waiting for me to say anything about it, giving my permission or whatever which resulted in the both of us being sexually frustrated but still, we were too insecure to make the first move. _Wow, so mature._

"I'm sure you are" I gave back, successfully covering the insecurity on my part and trying to push our little talk in the right direction.

"You know..," _he__'__s stuttering. Good sign. _"Maybe we have some time for.. . After the party." Shy Harvey was the cutest thing I've ever seen and I tried my best to contain my excitement over this._ Great, now I__'__m gonna spend the whole evening even more frustrated and anxious (in a good, no scratch that. In an amazing way) to get home. _

"I'm pretty damn sure we will." I whispered into his ear, letting my mouth linger right next to his ear for a little while longer. His hand made his way down my back torturously slow until he finally put both of his hands in the back pockets of my high wasted jeans. _The gentleman__'__s way of touching your girlfriends ass, I guess. _I brought my face right in front of his again, our lips millimetres apart now.

"So that's settled then," he whispered huskily against my lips and I tried desperately to control my brain, my legs and every single body part of mine. I simply kissed him, figuring that this was enough of an answer.

"OH MY GOOOSH, DOOONNAA! HAAARVEY!" Jenn's shriek made us both jump apart. And it probably woke up the whole city but it sounded like she just found a dead body in our bathtub so we ran to her guest bathroom as fast as we could, mentally preparing ourselves for what we were about to see.

"What?" I yelled totally flustered by the whole thing.

"There's. there's a . a . a spider in the bathtub. GET IT OUT! GET IT OUT!"

I was pretty sure we just got pranked and Harvey's troubled facial expression only supported my suspicion.

"DO SOMETHING, I'M GONNA DIE IF THAT THING STAYS THERE!"

I only shook my head. I didn't need to cause a scene because of a spider but I was definitely not touching that creature created of satan in person. Definitely not.

"Harvey!" I pointed at him. "Your turn to shine."

"I'm not touching that thing, forget it." He pouted like a six year old. But I was Donna after all. I always had a plan.

"Do you remember what we just mutually agreed on? If you don't get rid of that thing, you're gonna sleep alone in that damn bed tonight!" Bam, that worked.

"Ask her!" he grumbled while he went to get rid of it.

"Ask her what?" Jenn cocked her head and simply looked at me.

"Tonight's the firm's anniversary. And, well, we know you're beating yourself up for what happened and we were wondering if you might wanna join us tonight?"

"I'd love to" she whispered and hugged me tightly. "Thanks, Donna."

"Well, I can't take the credit for this one. It was Harvey's plan to get you out of the house."

She laughed now and we turned around to see if the deadly creature already bit his head off. We didn't really come to a conclusion. They were still fighting.

— _wherever this goes __—_

"You never told me you had a twin sister!" Rachel said without even greeting me.

"Hi sweetie, nice to see you too!" I answered in a slightly sarcastic tone. _Sorry for that, Rach._

"Hi" Rachel gave back. "But seriously, why didn't you tell me? Having a twin is like the most amazing thing ever!"

"i don't know, I wanted to start over when I came to New York and I never told anyone about her or my family in general. Even Harvey didn't know. Do you have any idea where she is right now?" I gratefully took my two glasses of scotch from the barman and tried to find Jenn in the crowd. She was nowhere to be found, of course but I forced myself to not give a shit at the moment. She was grown up and didn't need a babysitter.

"I saw her like 10 minutes ago, don't know where she's now though"

"She'll come back to me sooner or later. Come on, let's go back to Harvey and Mike."

She followed me reluctantly, I knew damn well that things weren't great between Rachel and Mike but they had to talk eventually. And I was going to help the kid and my best friend to reunite. As good as I could handle it for them. I stopped dead in my tracks when we got closer to Harvey. Mike was nowhere to be seen as well and Harvey was talking to a certain someone. A certain someone I didn't miss at all. Rachel was smart enough to flee from the scene and left me standing there, ready to attack. _You're awesome, you're hot, she's got nothing on you._

"Scottie!" I faked a polite smile and handed Harvey his Scotch. "What brings you back to New York?"

"Just checking if everything' okay here." that was probably her attempt to ease the already tense atmosphere. But a lousy one.

"Scottie was just telling me about a new client of hers and she was about to ask me something?"

"Yep, I wanted to know if you wanted to join forces on this one. I know we had our difficulties in the past…" _Seriously, bitch?_

"Difficulties?!" I couldn't help it, this woman was just unbelievable.

"That's what you call difficulties?! You literally destroyed him after you left and why did you leave in the first place? Oh right, because you fucked up, Scottie. And now you're crawling back to him and need to join forces? What the hell is wrong with you? Do you even have a bit of your dignity left?!" We were standing there in silence for a couple seconds.

"Oh I see, sleeping with your secretary now, Harvey. How classy!"

So bitch had some attitude. Second attack needed, I guess.

"Look honey, first: it's executive assistant. Secondly, this is not some filthy affair like, may I point out, you two have had in the past. We're together now and it's pretty serious. Lat year you've asked me if I was in love with him and to answer that question right now: Yes, I was and I am. It never worked out with the two of you and it never will, so please, just get over it and walk away!"

And that was it. Scottie nodded her head with a hurt look on her face and Harvey simply stood there, staring at his glass of Scotch. She then just went away, glancing at Harvey one more time and left us standing there with a giant elephant in the room. Did I feel bad about what I did? Yes. Would I do it again? Yes!

"What the hell was that, Donna?" he cursed, a hurt look on his face just like on Scottie's.

"That was me telling her off. You know I was right and I don't really get why you didn't even say a single word to defend me! I thought we're together now and last time I checked that doesn't include being ashamed of your girlfriend. I'm sorry I'm not a lawyer, Harvey!"

"That has nothing to do with it and you know it! I am not ashamed of you, the opposite actually but she's a huge part of my past, Donna. And if you like it or not, she was my girlfriend and yes, she made mistakes. But so did I and she didn't do anything wrong tonight! So yes, I am pissed at you for telling her off like that!"

I couldn't believe what he was saying. Did he really just defend his ex-girlfriend? The one who left him shattered in pieces the last time he saw her? I shook my head in disbelief, making my way through the crowd and leaving him standing there. I needed space, I needed silence and I couldn't stand to even look at Harvey right now. I stormed to the elevator, made my way to the file room and forcefully pushed open the door. And I instantly wished I hadn't. I was shocked, to say the least. And utterly disgusted.

"Well, that's kind of a dejá-vú, Jenn." I spat out and left the room without even closing the door. This evening couldn't have gotten any worse.

**So who was in the file room with Jenn? I know it's evil leaving you hanging right there but the next chapter's coming soon, I promise! Leave me some feedback with suggestions please, I really need it to keep going! **

**I needed the workaround to tell you something about Jenn's background and it was too much to put it in this chapter and not enough to make a normal length chapter out of it. So that's that.**

**Harvey & Donna are kind of having there first fight we all knew that this had to happen. I try to make this story as fluffy as possible but I have to put in some drama in return.**

**Have a nice evening my honey bunnies! xx L**


	9. Blood Underneath Your Fingernails

**Okay, first of all: I****'****m really proud of this chapter and that doesn****'****t happen very often, so show me some love by reviewing please! Also, I****'****m referring to the latest suits episode (4x08, I think, it****'****s called exposure) so if you don****'****t know what happened, there are a few spoilers in here. But all you gotta know for this is that Rachel kissed Logan (a client of Harvey****'****s and an enemy of Mike****'****s) and both of them aren****'****t in a good place, as you might figure even though there****'****s a bit of hope at the end of the ep but let****'****s forget about that (No hate, I love Mike/Rachel but I need them to fight right now). That****'****s it, the song for this chapter was also featured in this episode (I really loved 4x08, as you can tell :D) and I****'****ve been listening to it ever since, it****'****s amazing. So check it out if you****'****ve got some time on your hands!**

Chapter 9

[Blood Underneath Your Fingernails]

"Put your arms around somebody else

don't punish yourself, punish yourself

truth is like blood underneath your fingernails

and you don't wanna hurt yourself, hurt yourself

looking too closely"

[fink - looking too closely]

At that precise moment, I had no idea where to go. I couldn't go to Harvey because he was pissed at me, I couldn't go to my sister because she was the one having a heavy make out session in a file room and I couldn't go to Rachel because, well, my sister was having a make out session in a file room. With HER boyfriend. So I just stopped dead in my tracks, pressed my back to the wall in the dirty hallway and slid to the ground and carefully started to think about my next step. This was probably Mike's payback for Rachel making out with Logan. I thought they were on the right track to getting back to normal but apparently I ruined that by letting my slutty sister in the picture. I really thought she had changed, damn she even convinced Harvey. I heard footsteps coming closer and closer. _Awesome. let the apologising begin. _

"Donna, what are you doing down here?" Louis. What was I gonna tell him? I was about to lie to him, about to get rid of him as soon as possible as it strikes me: He was the only person I had left.

"Are you okay?" I shook my head holding back tears and started to tell my story. From Harvey to Scottie to Mike and my sister. I even told him about my English teacher and Jenn. If somebody told me 2 months ago that I told the darkest part of my life story to Louis Litt, I would probably have them committed. But here I was, hugging and confining in him and being actually grateful to have him with me. Louis didn't judge me for my relationship with Harvey that he just found out about, he simply said he knew it all along and he was happy for us. Who are you and what have you done to Louis?

"You need to talk to them as soon as possible or that whole thing gets out of control." I knew that but that doesn't mean I knew HOW to. How do you tell your best friend that you caught your sister in the act with HER boyfriend? I felt my phone vibrating in my pocket and pulled it out reluctantly. 2 new messages.

"Where are you? I'm sorry, let's talk please. -Harvey"

"Please don't tell Rachel yet. Let's talk, alright? -Mike"

Wow, now everyone wanted to talk to me. I didn't feel like answering Mike. At all. As much as I love the kid, I would never forgive him that dick move. But I did realise in that very moment that I was in a relationship now. A relationship that seemed to work, at least most of the time. And if I liked it or not: I had to at least try. I was new at this whole thing but I decided to try my best and that's what I was going to do. I grabbed Louis by the arm and pulled him into a hug.

"Thanks so much. For everything." I whispered and I could feel him trembling with happy tears. Good ol' Louis was back.

"For you always, Donna." I gave him a last smile, kicked off my high heels and grabbed them. I sprinted to the elevator then for the second time today & texted Harvey on my way up.

"Meet you outside. -Donna"

I really hoped he would check his phone during the next few minutes because I was not about to mingle around in the cold. I pushed open the door and the cold air hit me. I went outside and looked up to the black, clear night sky. It was snowing now, relatively early given the fact that it was only late November but I've always been a winter person. I loved hot chocolate, fire places and good books, christmas, my birthday and New Year's eve. To me everything about winter was perfect and I could get into a fight very easily if somebody dares to insult the sanctuaries of winter. I slowly closed my eyes now, feeling the snowflakes falling on my face and right in that moment I felt it: Nothing's actually changed. I ran away all those years ago, just to let Jenn back in and let her ruin everything again. Of course not everything, I still had my relationship after all, but she fucked everything up again. Rachel will blame it on me, I knew it. She always needed someone else to be the guilty one in order to get over it and I was going to be the one this time.

I didn't even realize how cold it actually was until Harvey put his suit jacket on my shoulders.

"Oh wow, I get to wear your suit jacket. I must be very special." I said. I didn't even turned around to look at him.

He came up closer and his lips crashed down on my neck.

"You definitely are." he whispered, his hot breath fanning against my ear. _Damn the Specter charm. I was supposed to be pissed!_

I leaned into him now, pressing my back flush against him, my head falling back on his shoulder.

"Don't choose her over me, Harvey." I said, my desperation way more obvious than I wanted it to be. His hands snaked around my waist.

"I already tried that in the past and we both know how well that turned out. I'm never gonna make that mistake again, I promise." That was all I needed. I couldn't expect the world from him but I knew that he tried his best. And that was enough for now.

"Take me home, Specter."

"We need to tell…"

"No, we don't. She'll find her way home." I spat out. She was the last person I wanted to think about. And I certainly didn't want to ruin our night because of her slutty behaviour. _Yes, I know that it's selfish. But I couldn't give a single fuck about it right now._

— _wherever this goes __—_

Our drive back to Harvey's condo was quiet. He tried to find out what happened with Jenn a couple times but quickly gave it a rest after I snapped at him. No good idea, no good idea at all. He got out his keys after another round of me trying not to tell him what happened and shoved me inside.

"Listen," _oh no, it's about to start. Harvey's famous lecturing. _"I'm all for burying things with sex but this is different. We wanted to start this off right and not… like this. So unless you're not telling me what happened with Jenn, nothing's happening tonight." I gave him the look of utter destruction. He could not be serious right now. .Fuck. I was quiet for a couple seconds to set up a plan. And Donna always had a plan.

"Have you ever seen Marie Antoinette? Like the newer one with Kirsten Dunst? That's how I feel right now."

"What?! Donna you do realise that Marie Antoinette got decapitated? Don't you think you're overrating all…this?"

"Of course I know Marie Antoinette got decapitated, you idiot! My point is that she tried everything within her power to get her egomaniacal spouse to sleep with her in order to get pregnant so she would give birth to the next heir to the throne. She needed to get pregnant in order to justify the position she was in." Silence.

"So, your point is you want me to get you pregnant so you can justify the position your in in front of Jessica?" _Asshole._

"Shut the fuck up,Harvey! That's not funny and you know exactly… Oh forget it, I don't care." I just stopped with a wave of my hand and went away.

"Oh come on Donna, I was just kidding."

"Well, not funny."

He groaned and I just let myself plop on the couch. I heard him pouring us some scotch and he just sat down beside me, quietly handing me mine. I necked the whole drink and earned a disturbed look from him. _Sorry, I had to. _

"Okay Donna, you're scaring me. Just tell me: Do I have to be scared?"

"I caught Jenn and Mike making out in the file room." I blurted out without even taking a breath. I had to tell him sooner or later. And it wasn't my place to be ashamed, so why did I even care so much?

"What?! Like Mike Mike? The one that should be trying to fix things with Rachel?!"

"Yep."

"That's…gross. Fuuuck. She's like ten years older than him!"

"NO, SHE'S NOT LIKE TEN YEARS OLDER THAN HIM! It's 7 alright?

"Ooops, sorry." The twin thing could get really exhausting for outsiders.

"It's just…why does she always have to fuck everything up? I really thought she changed, I thought she wanted to get her shit together but apparently…"

"Have you talked to her yet?"

"OF COURSE NOT!"

"Maybe it was Mike…"

"Yeah, maybe he was trying to rape her! Are you kidding me, Harvey?! We're talking about the kid, not some pervert!"

He laughed, sipping his scotch slowly.

"I just love how everyone around us is keeping our lives exciting. Some people have to pay a lot of money for that, sweetie!"

"Don't you Sweetie me! And how can you be so optimistic? Rachel is gonna kill me!"

"Why would she kill you? Yeah well, maybe she interchanges you two by accident. I would like agree on a sign so that she doesn't skin the wrong one alive. Could be painful, you know." I grinned, even though I didn't really feel like it. That was the amazing thing about him. He could make me smile even though I felt like I got run over my by a train.

"That's why I love you" I whispered and smiled up to him, realising fully well that I was the first one to say it out loud.

"I love you too" he answered without even thinking about it. Good sign, I guess. It was almost scary how much we changed. Not only we together but as a individual being. But it was definitely a good scary.

"You know, it just occurred to me that I told you what's going on," I grinned, referring to the time he came to my apartment back in our DA days.

"Yeah, that didn't just occur to you." He grinned back, picked me up and carried me to our, pardon, his bedroom.

"I think we have to settle an outstanding score from this morning" he said while laying me own on his bed.

"We definitely have to," I gave back and kissed him with a passion and desire I never knew I would be able to.

**Aaaand another thing I gotta tell you. This is a T rated story and it's gonna stay T. So no details, if you wanted some, I'm really sorry but I really can't write stuff like that. I tried and I was emotionally disturbed. No I wasn't but it wasn't really fun and still kind of uncomfortable. Maybe it's gonna change throughout the story but it's never gonna get really M, if you know what I mean :D Anyways, have a nice day/evening/night/morning or whatever and leave me some reviews please, I would love you for that! And I'm gonna answer every single question you have in my next author's note, I promise! Aaand if there are any suggestions on your part, I would looove to hear them! xx Láura**


	10. Crawling Back To You

_Chapter 10_

_[Crawling Back To You]_

"_E__ver thought of calling when you've had a few?_

_'__c__ause I always do_

_m__aybe I'm too busy being yours to fall for somebody new_

_n__ow I've thought it through_

_c__rawling back to you__"_

_[arctic monkeys - do i wanna know?]_

It was 9.30 AM when I slowly started to wake up by the warmth of the sun on my face. Even though it was already winter, it was still pretty warm. I needed a few seconds to figure out where I was and who the arm around my waist belonged to. But then it hit me: Harvey. We have had a pretty restless night (in a VERY good way, of course) and I was aching in all the right places. _Damn Harvey Specter and his hidden talents…_

I decided not to wake him up yet, it was a sunday morning after all and he probably wouldn't even have to go into the office today. Even though you never know, we're talking about Harvey after all. I managed to not think about what happened with Mike and Jenn for almost 6 minutes. After that period of time I was pissed all over again. It still didn't occur to me how they could do such thing and what would lead to something like that… they were totally different in every possible way and I would've never thought that these two would ever… My train of thoughts was interrupted by Harvey's arm tightening around my waist.

"Morning, beautiful" he whispered into my hair and instantly brought a smile on my face.

"Morning" I grinned back and turned around without ever losing the touch of his arm.

"Are you free today?" I asked, hoping he was.

"Depends…" I slapped him playfully.

"No seriously, do you have to go in today?"

"Nope, it's sunday. Not really feeling like working today. What do you wanna do?" That was good, at least I didn't have to face Jenn on my own. And Mike wouldn't have the chance to talk to Harvey.

"I don't know, I thought about maybe going on a run later. Wanna join?" He nodded, something clearly on his mind.

"What is it?" I asked.

He hesitated. "What…are we doing about…it?"

"Nothing, we're doing nothing. It's their shit, not ours. End of story."

"Oh wow, what happened to yesterday's desperation?" I swung my legs out of bed, trying to get myself up. I was still too tired to function properly.

"I don't know," I started to answer to his question while I slipped on his Harvard T-shirt I already claimed mine.

"I just don't want them to ruin what we have." I whispered. He got out of bed now too, slowly making his way towards me. He only stopped as our faces were mere centimetres apart, his hand reached behind my head, pulling me even closer to his lips. I focused on his hazel eyes, the kind of eyes that could turn from utter bitterness to loving comfort in a blink of an eye. He kissed me with such passion that a shudder ran down my spine and goosebumps were forming on my arms and every other part of my body, my legs were slowly giving in. When we broke apart, all he said was "They won't." And all I did was smile. Because that's when I knew that eventually, everything was going to be fine. Because I had HIM by my side now.

—_wherever this goes __—_

"Donna, you ready?" Harvey exclaimed impatiently. "Gimme 2 seconds," I groaned, still searching for my yoga pants. I thanked high heavens that I hadn't seen Jenn yet, even though I was kind of wondering where she was. But I think I don't really wanna know.

I basically jumped into my pants when I finally found them and jogged to the door. "Okay, ready."

"Oh wow, that was fast." Harvey groaned ironically, rolled his eyes and opened the door. When we got outside, the cold december wind took me by surprise. Even though it was sunny, it was fucking ice age reloaded. We started running towards Central Park and fell into an uncomfortable silence. Both of us tried to ignore the elephant in the room, even if it wasn't really our problem, it was still fucking everything up. My mood was only getting worse and all these women drooling over Harvey weren't really helping at all. It only made me think about if Harvey and I would end up like Mike and Rachel one day, if Harvey would ever cheat on me and how long his self-control would remain. He obviously had a lot of opportunities and that's what scared me the most. I was totally lost in my negativity and didn't even concentrated on where I actually ran so my chest hitting someone else's shoulder ripped me out of my thoughts. I was startled to say the least, quickly apologised and let Harvey pull me to the nearest bench.

"What the hell is up with you, Donna? Why does it bother you that much?!"

I remained silent for a while and played with the hem of my shirt, procrastinating the inevitable.

"I'm scared." I stated, still not looking up.

"Scared of what?!" He could be thick as a brick sometimes.

"That we turn out to be like Mike and Rachel eventually. That one day, I'm not enough anymore and one of those drooling puppy eyed bitches is already waiting in line to take my place. I always thought of Mike&Rachel as the perfect couple. Like true love, you know? But apparently I was VERY wrong…" Too much information for those little sentences, I guess because it took hime a while to answer.

"So you still think I'm gonna cheat on you sooner or later?" It wasn't even sarcastic, he was simply asking a question. And that's what was irritating me.

"No, not all the time. I mean, yes, sometimes I do. I'm still wondering if this," I motioned between us, "is gonna be enough for you. We don't know what's gonna happen, Harvey. And right now, we're still kinda fragile."

"Welcome to real life, Donna," he said, eyeing me with a mix of hurt and thoughtfulness. "So, to ease your mind a bit: A) I swear, I'm never gonna cheat on you, even though it's so hard to believe for you. And B) we're gonna figure the future out together, alright?"

He grabbed my head and squeezed it as if to reassure me once again. I looked down on our interlocked gaze and then back up right into his eyes. I shook my head smiling. I_ was slowly losing control of everything but for the first time in my life, I didn't care. _Harvey stood up and pulled me to my feet and closer to his body.

"I love you, Paulson," he grinned and I threw my arms around his neck, figuring that kissing him would be perfectly fine right now.

"I know, Specter, I know." I simply winked and started to run again with a little more ass shaking than usually.

"A simple 'I love you too Harvey' would've worked too, you know…" he grumbled but followed me suit. There was a comfortable silence between us and I started to get used to all these slutty whores staring. He was hot, no one could deny that, and I guess that's the price you have to pay for having a hot boyfriend. _Stay optimistic, Paulson!_

I was ripped out of my thoughts by Gives You Hell_. Oh, so she thinks I'm just gonna answer my phone?! Yeah, fuck you too, Jenn. _

"Come on, answer it. You have to talk to her sooner or later." Harvey tried to be reasonable but I really wasn't in the mood right now.

"Not now." I dismissed the call and stuffed my iPhone back into my pockets.

— _wherever this goes __—_

I was just prepping Harvey for his next meeting tomorrow, _I was still his secretary after all_, when we entered Harvey's condo again. We were just joking about Cameron Deniz, Harvey and my old boss at the DA's office, when we both stopped dead in our tracks as we saw Jenn sitting on one of the high chairs in the kitchen, her legs crossed and peacefully scrolling through the news feed of her Facebook.

"What are you doing here?!" I spat out, throwing the keys on the counter and fumbling through every inch of the fridge to find something to eat.

"Well, I don't really have anywhere else to go, Donna. And I don't really get your problem, to be honest. It wasn't your boyfriend I hook up with!"

I snorted out. "You're such a bitch Jenn! I thought you'd changed, I really wanted to believe your little pathetic compassion seeking show last week. But then we want to help you & take you to the anniversary and you just fucking hook up with my best friend's boyfriend! And Harvey's associate but that's not really the point. What the fuck is wrong with you?"

She decided to ignore me like a 12-year-old then, Harvey was still standing in the doorway, staring at his phone and pretending not to hear anything. _I really wondered sometimes how the hell Harvey could ever win a lawsuit if he acted like that in court._

I tried to occupy myself with something to keep myself from cutting her throat right here and then. But I couldn't stand to just stay quiet.

"I know you don't get my problem, but do you realise that we're gonna jump into a shit storm as soon as Rachel finds out? And she's gonna blame me for the shit you did. Do you even care about that?"

"Mike and I decided not to tell her okay? Nothing happened, we just kissed, end of story. She doesn't have to know unless you tell her!"

"Seriously, Jenn?" Now even Harvey was pissed. "I have to work with BOTH of them every single day and you just want me to cover up the fucking mess you made? I don't really feel like destroying my peace of mind because you can't get your shit together!" _Ouch, that's the Harvey I know. But he was right._

"It's none of your business, Harvey." Jenn shrugged not really giving a fuck and not even looking up from her phone. "Just stay the fuck out of my crap and you can keep your peace of mind, deal?" Harvey just shook his head in disbelieve and made his way to our bedroom. I followed him to prevent the worst.

"I'm sorry" I whispered after I closed the door and hugged him tightly. "I knew she would find something to fuck up again and I manoeuvred both of us into that shit. I'm really sorry." Harvey's lips find my neck and made his way up to my ear.

"It's not your fault your sister is a reckless bitch." he whispered back, sucking on my earlobe now. I knew we couldn't do this with Jenn only 10 feet away from us but it felt too damn good to stop. It took the responsible part in me a long time to react, but it did eventually. I broke the contact of his lips and my ear and looked him straight in the eye.

"Are we telling her what happened?" I really needed his help with that.

"I have no idea." _Wow, damn great answer, Specter._

_**Bam, that was number 10. Sorry I made you wait a bit but I hope it wasn**__**'**__**t too long. Anyway, to answer to some of your reviews (THANKS SO MUCH FOR THEM!), you really seem to like Scottie getting a shit storm from Donna. I try to get her in there more often, even though I can**__**'**__**t promise how well it**__**'**__**s going to work out! xx L**__**á**__**ura**_


End file.
